Shawni of 71Toes is a wife, mother of five, photographer, and blogger extraordinaire. She blogs about mothering in a way that inspires and uplifts and encourages - even during the hard moments. Shawni's kids are a few years older than mine so I frequently look to her for wisdom when it comes to charting the waters of parenting. She's just far enough ahead that I know she's probably had an experience similar to what I might be going through. And so, for those reasons, I was thrilled when she agreed to send over a post for the Joyful Mothering Series. I love her perspective and hope you will too!
I am all about soaking in moments.
They bring joy in the journey of motherhood.
But some days it seems the only moments are the crazy ones...not the ones that make time stand still and turn my heart to mush.
There was a day a couple months ago where I actually started writing down the "moments" as they rolled on right in front of me because my "moment" was realizing that wow, life is nuts.
Let's start by setting the stage:
There are five children home from school...all of them with at least one friend traipsing through the kitchen while I cook dinner for us and for a sick pregnant friend I offered to bring dinner to two nights ago but forgot.
The phone is ringing off the hook.
Even if I wanted to answer the phone, (which I don't), I would never be able to find the darn thing because our family has a knack for leaving those cordless things in the wackiest places (the freezer? the pantry? Yep, I've found it there...and the sad thing is that I'm just a guilty as the rest of them).
My mind is stressing about how in the world I am going to handle a new assignment they have just given me to help take care of the youth in our church congregation and also who I can cajole to teach my scouts class rotation for the hundreds of people who will be at Round Table tonight.
My first-grader is a broken record begging me to help her scrounge up some old fabric scraps so she can decorate a turkey drawing she's supposed to glam up for a school project.
I have located my cell phone when it alerted me to a text, followed by some sort of important phone call and as soon as I answer I have three children suction-cupped to my side thinking that NOW is the time to talk to me about their day.
My oldest daughter is getting ready for tennis and is needing something to eat before she goes but is teary-eyed because she's in so much pain from her new elastics the orthodontist stuck on today. I stop and pull out the blender frantically throwing together a smoothie before her carpool comes.
The volleyball carpool has just called saying they have pneumonia and can't drive tonight while I'm supposed to be at book club (and teaching at Round Table if I can't find a replacement).
My son is plunking hard on the piano because he's mad (again) that I won't let him quit piano lessons. And he can NOT seem to get that section of that darn song right. My heart sinks because I need to be in there helping him, but I need to be in here too or the sauce will burn, (and I need to be three other places too).
My first-grader and her friend (having given up on decorating the turkey) run in screaming from the trampoline because they have realized there is a dead bee of all things in my daughter’s hair.
All this is set to the music of my tantrum-expert four-year-old in one of her awful moods screaming for milk every time I turn around.
And just as the chaos reaches the peak of it's cacophony of noise my phone dings politely with a text from my husband reminding me I need to get to the voting booth to go vote...which closes in ten minutes.
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Do you ever have a single moment that makes you stop and realize how silly it is to be frantically chasing your tail and not really accomplishing anything? For some reason on that day back in November that text in the middle of the swirl of activity was my "moment." It's what made me stop everything and smile to myself. I don't know why, but it made me stop and almost laugh at the prospect of loading up all the kids in the car and rushing over to vote, picturing the guy there closing up the booth saying, "Sorry ma'am, you just missed your chance."
For some reason it made me stop and soak in the fact that I was there. Right where I needed to be. Not really getting to everything I wanted to, but trying my very best and knowing that I was in the right place at the right time. And that the world would go on if I didn't get over to vote, and if I didn't make it to book club, and if other leaders would have to fill in for me at Round Table while I brought my boy to volleyball.
Yes, sometimes the moments that fill up a mother's day don't seem to be so sweet. But if we step back and not take it all quite so seriously we realize that life is good. So very good. And that brings the sweetness into the memories of the craziness.
I love this quote:
INTERRUPTIONS
"When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons' needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur - and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone."
-Anonymous
from The Anglican Digest
In my mind there is nothing quite so good as to be a Mother (except for being a wife, but that's another post for another day). The one who is interrupted the most. And I must cherish those moments of interruptions while they last. Because before I know it these children will grow up and leave off to create their own stories, and I'll be left with just the memories of all those life-enriching interruptions echoing through my house.
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Shawni, Thanks so much for your thoughts. Readers, I hope you'll click over and visit Shawni's blog. 71 Toes. Do you have a post on joyful mothering you'd like to share? Have you ever had an afternoon like the one Shawni described? If you'd like to share your thoughts, use the button above and link up your own joyful mothering post below.
6 Comments:
I love this post. Mostly because I have those moments all the time. And you've put words to exactly how they make me feel (on the days I don't totally lose it anyway).
Another amazing post in this series -- thanks so much!
Such a great post.
She has great perspective on mothering. It almost makes me wish I little ones all at home to experience it through different eyes......almost.
My hubs knew Shawni when we was little. Her father was my hubby's Mission President.
My afternoons are usually insane, too. We've done a couple things this year to hopefully lessen the insanity, but not by much. I feel guilty sometimes about how much I just look forward to bedtime, but I can only keep it together for so long, you know?
I loved reading this. I love Shawni's perspective on motherhood. All of the crazy part will be over soon enough, and the craziness really is right where we should be.
It's funny, I have two kids and often feel like this. I suppose it's the reason I started writing experiences down as well because we only have this time once, even when the kids are driving us nuts, there will be a time when they aren't there to do so.
Anyway, I really like this. The idea of letting things slide because you are right where you need to be.
A post close to my heart! Shawni keeps it real. Thank you for reminding us we are RIGHT where we should be. It is so easy to feel so overwhelmed that the joy is not found...always rushing in our minds to solve the next dilema!
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