Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Slice of Life

Generally speaking, I blog at night. Which is why it's been so tough to blog lately. Because at night? I feel much like vomiting. Even when I'm not all that tired, I'm going to bed early because at least when I'm sleeping, I can't tell that I feel like barfing.

Tonight though, I'm feeling good. That's what a tall glass of chocolate milk, made with whole milk (I stole it from Ivy... don't tell her), and two Cinnamon Roll Toaster Strudels can do for a girl.

Ahem. Excuse me while I change positions. I think I actually felt my butt get a little bigger just then.

I don't know why this feels like such a wicked indulgence. Perhaps because it's 11:30 and I don't generally eat late at night, or after dinner much at all. This is justified though. Because milk is good for the baby, right? And if I feel like barfing, I can't blog.

And blogging is what makes the world go round.

Last night I watched the General Relief Society Broadcast. (The incredible, wonderful, women specific portion of my church's semi-annual General Conference where we hear amazing speakers and messages that make your heart happy and make you feel like being a better person and that reaffirm your faith and make you feel warm and gooey on the inside) I particularly enjoyed Deiter F. Uchtdorf's talk and his incredible message not to forget who we really are, and what we are really worth. I loved his line about Heavenly Father knowing that we aren't perfect, and also knowing that all those women that we think are perfect aren't actually perfect either.

And then I got to thinking about blogging. Sometimes, I worry that blogging might actually exacerbate this problem. See, it's really easy to make our online lives look sugar and spice and all things nice. I think sometimes this might be contrived. People only share the good stuff in an effort to make their lives seem perfect. But could it also be possible that some bloggers choose not to share some things because they'd simply prefer not to?

I like to say that my blog is all me, but it isn't ALL of me. I will not put anything on the blog that isn't real and true and a reflection of who I really am.

But also, I'm not going to tell you if I get in a big fight with my husband. I'm not going to tell you about a personal struggle I may be having with my fifth grader, or a trial I might be going through with a close friend. But that doesn't mean those things don't happen. It simply means that I have respect for the individuals in my life who would prefer not to have their stories shared online.

There is danger in assuming that all you see on a blog, or on the surface of someone's appearance is all there is behind the scenes too. Some things might be too personal, too private for general online consumption. And that's okay. To read someone's blog and think they've got the corner on mothering perfection, that they've got the best house, the best kids, the best life - it's not only ridiculous, it really isn't fair. Judgement hurts in all forms, whether you are judging someone for being too good, or not good enough. There is always more to the story. And unless you've lived it, breathed it, experienced it, you just can't really know.

This blogging that we do, it's just a slice of our lives, really. It is good and real and sweet, but simply put, it just isn't the whole pie.

19 Comments:

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

The whole pie? Now look, you went and made me hungry late at night too. Sorry you're not feeling well. And sorry that neither of us is perfect. I think we're pretty close though. :)

Wonder Woman said...

There is much truth here. I read a *few* blogs where it seems everything is perfect, though it's not. But really, most of the blogs I read are like yours. You blog the good and bad (but not the ugly!) And I think it's perfect.

Cindy said...

I remember Laila telling me a couple of years ago that she was going to stop reading blogs, because they just made her feel unsatisfied with her own life. It made me worry that anyone would look at my blog and feel like that...I always hope that I give a picture that is a little more well rounded than that...

Laura@livingabigstory said...

I think about this sometimes -- when I started my blog, one of my friends told me to make sure I didn't make my life look too picture perfect. Never, I thought. But then I realized what you said -- I can't/won't share all of me on my blog, so what do people think? How does one be honest without sharing TMI?

M-Cat said...

You, my friend, hit the nail on the head! It's just a slice of the pie.....

great post

Lesa said...

Your post about 'a slice of the pie' is a perfect description of what blogging should be - a slice of our lives without TMI.

Garden of Egan said...

Amen.
Well said.

Andrea said...

I don't really want to know the whole pie of someone's life. There's enough bad, that when I read a blog I want to feel uplifted and happy and maybe learn some new things, or reconfirm others. Which is exactly what I get from your blog, and why I keep coming back.
A lot of the crafty decorating blogs make me feel like I'm not doing enough and being enough, but that's just not my thing (my pie) and once I stopped reading them, I'm much happier.
Thanks for sharing your slices of pie that you do.

Kristina P. said...

Amen, sister. I read some blogs where they feel that by not sharing every intimate moment means they aren't being real or true. And frnakly, it just ends up being uncomfortable and TMI.

Amber said...

I feel that my story is okay to tell, but when it involves other characters--like my children and my husband and friends and other family members--it is not okay to write about.

But I do find clarity in writing about my personal journey, the ins and outs, the highs and lows, of my mind, my experiences, and the knowledge I have gained and wish to pass on. I also feel this need to lay my insecurities out on the table, like an open book, because I find those insecurities make me human. It also paves the way for another person to see--wow, she is crazy! I can feel much better about myself now. See? My blog is the reason so many women and men can sleep at night knowing they are much more normal and put-together than I am. Heh.

Marlowe said...

Home again and so nice to have met the "real" woman behind the words :)

Carrie said...

WEll, you know my take on it..and I totally agree. Great post-- and such a great reminder. I love how you said it's just as bad when you are "judging someone to be too good." I love that and I think it's some good "food" for thought. I know I know...I am hilarious. :)

Tobi said...

Probably only a teaspoon of my life makes it onto my blog. I try to blog the bad along with the good. I surely don't want anyone to think that my life is all sunshine and rainbows. I loved the Forget Me Not talk too!!

Patty Ann said...

I try not to judge based on a moment that I see. It can be so hard not to compare ourselves with what we perceive as perfection. we just have to keep remembering that there was only ever one perfect person on the earth and none of us are Him. so, we just do the best we can, and allow others the same privilege.

DeNae said...

First, I should apologize to all those people who read my blog and decide that I'm perfect. Shucks, girls, I'm not all THAT perfect.

Hee hee.

The thing is, it's ALWAYS slice of life -- whether you're writing on a blog or teaching a lesson or even having a conversation with someone. We can never package the whole pie and hand it over to someone and say, "There. That's what it's like to be me."

I think I choose my friends, my activities, even my favorite blogs based on what slices of the pie they're willing to share, and which slices they choose not to burden me with. I like to think I'm a good friend, who is there for you no matter what. But I also appreciate my friends who understand that we're all human and carrying a load of SOMETHING everywhere we go, and therefore don't gripe and whine about every little thing.

And no, I absolutely do NOT share everything about myself on my blog. It may seem like I do, but that's just part of the magic of me! :-)

Kazzy said...

I had this discussion with some blog friends a few weeks ago. Am I the real me on my blog? Yes, but not fully disclosed. We are under no obligation to spill everything.

Charlotte said...

I've always wondered why people would assume that, because someone takes great pictures or writes about their wonderful families, they must have a problem free life. I've never read a blog and thought that. In fact too "perfect" and I stop reading. Too doom and gloom will lead to the same.

I would never post about intimate details or arguments I have with loved ones. Long after the angry feelings subside, the post is still there.

Lara said...

It has never bothered me that people don't share the whole pie on their blogs. What a tall order that would be! I'd have to be blogging every minute for that to work....

Yes. A slice of life, the slice we are willing to share. And I appreciate the sharing that goes on. I learn a lot from other bloggers.

Nobody said...

The part of blogging that I leave off my blog is, I DO have the corner on mothering. I just like to show the humble side of me. It's real--it's just not all there is.

I love your writing.