The Rules of Inheritance - A Book Review

*This is a paid review for the Blogher Book Club, but the opinions expressed are completely my own.

There isn't really a road map for how we experience grief. We all come from different backgrounds, have different views and perspectives, different value systems, sets of beliefs. How could there be just one prescribed way a person might expect to deal with tragedy?

In her memoir, The Rules of Inheritance, Claire Bidwell Smith explores the journey that she went through in dealing with and finally accepting the loss of both of her parents to cancer when she was just 18, and then 25 years old.

This wasn't an easy book to read. Smith's writing is raw and compelling - her story agonizingly painful. And yet, I'm glad she had the courage to tell it. Though she does not hesitate to fully immerse her words in the struggles and pain that she dealt with for years, glimpses of hope, even joy filter through when you realize that Smith is now writing from the other side of her grief - as someone that has moved past anger and resentment to acceptance and peace.

This is not a "how-to" book. It's a memoir - a very personal, very real account of one individual's struggle with grief. But as the author notes in her concluding chapter, "Just saying the words "it's okay to feel sad" can elicit an enormous release of emotions from a grieving person, and with that release comes a touch of peace."

And that is what this book is really about - a statement that indeed, it is okay to feel sad, a willingness to accept the grief for what it is, and know that it is possible to move past it - even if it takes a decade of struggling to do so.

What you ought to know before reading this book:

 - There is language that may, if you are sensitive to such things, assault your sensibilities. It is very authentic, and I feel a true reflection of the place the author found herself emotionally. But it's there, nonetheless, and is frequent enough there may be some that choose not to read because of it.

- There is alcohol, and there is sex. Nothing graphic, and nothing gratuitous, but a real and raw part of the narrative just the same.

 - There is no mention of faith or religion, which, in a book that deals so heavily with death, may leave you feeling a bit hollow. For me, my faith is such an intricate part of who and what I am. It was hard to truly relate to a perspective that is void of those elements.

If you'd like to learn more about The Rules of Inheritance, click on the links below to join the BlogHer Book Discussion.

Blogher Book Club - The Rules of Inheritance