Comments on Mommy Snark: Loving my Big Family

I've finally made my peace with the fact that ...

2012-01-03T15:43:51.151-05:00

I've finally made my peace with the fact that three is my limit. I wish for more, but I understand my reality.

I think you're amazing and six sounds like a wonderful number.

Thanks for your positivity and realness. I love yo...

2012-01-01T06:48:19.447-05:00

Thanks for your positivity and realness. I love your posts! ;) We have 5 energetic boys ages 3-10. I love them each so much, but I also relate with the stress, frustrtion, and general desire for mutiple "Me's" when trying to balance it all! It can get hectic, loud, and downright exhausting, but I love that what I do counts, teaches, inspires, and perpetuates for another generation! I feel so lucky to be the Mama of these little acorns just sprouting their lieaves and digging in their roots, for someday they will be mighty oaks!

I am the youngest of 8 kids. While serving a miss...

2011-12-21T17:36:00.534-05:00

I am the youngest of 8 kids. While serving a mission, I often got into conversations with people who thought big families were wrong, but they liked me. I enjoyed telling them that I was the youngest of 8, and so I was all sorts of supportive of big families.

As for me and my hubby... We like the idea of 6. 3 of my 5 married siblings have 6 kids. It's a good number. We only have one so far, so we'll see how it turns out!

I love peeking into your world and get a much need...

2011-12-20T12:04:39.824-05:00

I love peeking into your world and get a much needed reminder that a big family is hard. I'm a mother of six kids and just recently I've been overwhelmed with thoughts of "what have I got myself into?". I absolutely love kids, especially babies and believe strongly in family and teaching my children what's right and to be good people who love God but it's definitely hard work but I'm going to take a page from your book and try to remind myself more often that it's worth it and some day my kids will appreciate all I do even if they don't seem to right now.

Loving your baby bump and my big family too!!

2011-12-19T12:04:56.735-05:00

Loving your baby bump and my big family too!!

I sometimes feel compelled to explain to people wh...

2011-12-18T23:08:10.395-05:00

I sometimes feel compelled to explain to people why I only have two (it's complicated). This because we live in a LDS community where 4-6 is standard. I could say I feel judged, but I don't. I think if anything, I judge myself against someone else's life. And so then I remind myself that my life is my own. I also remember the brief period we tried for a third and thereafter really felt two was enough. Little did I know then that my husband would become disabled about the time my youngest entered kindergarten, freeing me to go back to work full time to support the family. And I thank God I don't have a baby on my hip or we would not have been able to weather this storm. Some days I wish I had a bigger family, but frankly, some days I wish I was still single and childless. It's good all our wishes don't come true or we'd all be pretty miserable. God knows the end from the beginning. I think the trick is learning to trust Him and lean not unto our own understanding.

When I had no kids, I was determined to have six. ...

2011-12-17T01:34:25.229-05:00

When I had no kids, I was determined to have six. After I had my first, I was determined to have...one. Thirty one hours of labor and an emergency C-section will do that to you.

As you know, I wound up with four, and that was just right for us. Enough to keep me humble without making me a lunatic.

I remember being at a San Francisco Denny's with my mother and all of my sibs (there were six of us). This man came in, dressed just like a bird -- all in white with feathers on his coat and a giant top hat -- and asked my mom if we were all hers. He said it like she was nuts.

When we get to the point that the crazies off the street still manage to feel superior to the moms who have a lot of kids, then in my opinion it's time to just stop listening.

And I know you so well, I can honestly say there isn't anyone better suited to parent a large family than you. And girlfriend, I'm loving that baby bump! More pix, please!

You seem happy and content, even when it is hard t...

2011-12-15T16:38:37.945-05:00

You seem happy and content, even when it is hard to do the day-to-day grind. I enjoyed reading your post today.

When me husband and I were making the all-importan...

2011-12-15T09:41:25.620-05:00

When me husband and I were making the all-important "how many should we have" decision, and to be honest, a chief concern was surviving the pregnancy, my sister warned, "Remember, you'll need to raise them too." As my five are beginning to enter college, etc., my mother now reminds me, "You never stop worrying about them." I've found both warnings true. I love my closely-bunched crew (I had a late start). And I can't imagine not having our "caboose" as part of our family. I see how important my children are to each other, and appreciate the lessons they learn from each other. It is crazy, because we do too much. I suspect I'll miss those chaotic times. And parenting adult children (and helping support their worthwhile endeavors)is even harder than managing middle school and grocery bills and orthodontics! I sometimes remind myself I gave up a jet-set, fast-track career for this. And I wouldn't wish it any other way.

I come from a family of 6 kids and my husband is o...

2011-12-14T18:22:48.866-05:00

I come from a family of 6 kids and my husband is one of 5, so numbers in that range feel familiar. However, with each pregnancy/birth I go through, the number drops. :) I think right now we tell ourselves that we'll get to 4 and see how we feel. Of course, if our current living situation changes, the number will probably go up, but as it is, we'd get laughed out of Brooklyn (at least our neighborhood) if we even made it to 4! :)

I came from a big family and never knew that we we...

2011-12-14T12:48:56.964-05:00

I came from a big family and never knew that we went without. And I really do NOT know how my mom managed it all, while going back to school for her degree. She is totally my hero.

I love big families and I love small families...it...

2011-12-14T00:00:44.826-05:00

I love big families and I love small families...it's really all about what the couple feels is right for them. Sometimes I feel others with big families judge my small family...we really didn't just have 2 b/c we like to spoil them more! Sooo not the case...it's just how life has worked out for us. I am happy for you guys! PS - I do think you look young to have 6 kids, but ha! - that is great for you :-)

We chose to stop at four - four boys!! My husband ...

2011-12-13T22:23:44.776-05:00

We chose to stop at four - four boys!! My husband so wanted that girl but with every other year deployments we chose my sanity. I love that we have four though & envision big family Holidays when they hopefully marry & start families of their own. My best friend is on baby 7 & I get a little jealous, but her husband is home all the time to help out. I love large families & can so relate to the wrapping paper wars in wal-mart. Two of mine where using them as light sabers just the other day & they have no excuse!! They are 125 & 13 years old- BOYS!!

I needed this post today. It was one of those mot...

2011-12-13T20:53:18.344-05:00

I needed this post today. It was one of those mothering days where you question your sanity. Flu shots this morning for three kids (me at 7.5 months pregnant), allergy shots for the two older kids, piano lesson and then the mall to find new shoes because they were all wearing worn out shoes that were at least a size too small. (It's amazing how fast they go through shoes) Of course the two oldest had to be overly hyper and in the mood to annoy each other while the youngest didn't get his nap out and was in an ill mood. I got home tonight and felt exhausted in my motherhood duties. Then I read your post and suddenly felt ok. It's nice to know you're not alone and that other mothers feel like you do and yet understand why you're doing it. So, thanks for sharing!

Physically, I can't have as big of a family as...

2011-12-13T19:47:21.861-05:00

Physically, I can't have as big of a family as you - but I love the idea of 6 kids. Maybe not quite as close as yours . . . but my hubby and I have talked about adopting later on so we can have our big family!

When I only had two, I noticed something about my idea of "big" (from counting books of all things). Every time we counted down, 4 in a group was huge, but 3 wasn't. So I guess for me 4 is where it starts to be large!

I think I would've loved to have a large(r) fa...

2011-12-13T17:31:48.632-05:00

I think I would've loved to have a large(r) family if being pregnant wasn't so hard for me. Plus I got a late start, so I think 2 is all we will manage.

Ben is the youngest of 8. I know that if his paren...

2011-12-13T14:04:07.214-05:00

Ben is the youngest of 8. I know that if his parents had stopped at two (as they had planned) I would never have him, and that would be a truly sad thing. I also know that he is so patient and giving because of all of his siblings. Growing up with siblings is tough on the kids as well as the parents, but it's so worth it to both. I'm so grateful his parents chose to have a large family.

I can't count the number of times I've had...

2011-12-13T12:17:13.680-05:00

I can't count the number of times I've had people ask if those are all mine? Not sure when 3 became such a big family? Kinda makes me laugh. Although some days I feel like 3 is a lot.
I'd love a big family, but life has taken a different road. It's all so personal and life doesn't always go as we'd like. I think people need to be able to provide for their family physically, mentally and socially and not be the crazy mean mom and that number is different for everyone. Plus there's so many things out of our control.
Sometimes I feel like in blogland you have to have a lot of kids to be an amazing mom. (not that you say that!) And I struggle with not feel judged and not being a good mom for having 3. Anyways... too much babbling. Sorry.
Basically.. I'm so happy for you and your big family!

I so love your posts about the joy of being a moth...

2011-12-13T12:03:03.956-05:00

I so love your posts about the joy of being a mother. They resonate with me on a level that I doubt I would have understood when I was in "the throes" of it all. In some ways, I wish I could go back and do it better, and in others, I look at my grown men and think, hey - you pulled that off pretty good for a sorry, swearing, short on patience mom.

and the whole "choosing their weapon" with the wrapping paper made me laugh since my grown boys WILL STILL DO THAT!

I am the oldest from a family of 11--and I honestl...

2011-12-13T11:55:31.186-05:00

I am the oldest from a family of 11--and I honestly thought I would have at least 8 because I loved my big family. Well, I am 30 with only 2. And as I have had my own children, and as I have recognized what my own abilities are, I have made the decision that I won't have more than I can mentally and physically be a good mother to. My mom is really tired and she had too many at an older age. Of course, that is only her individually and some mother's of 11 do great! But I want to BE there for my kids. That doesn't mean that there are never moments of insanity with any number of children, but that I can meet my children's needs in all areas. And so maybe that is why I have only been blessed with 2 at this point, and maybe that is why they are so gosh darn far apart and why, if I am able, maybe another babe had to come so much later than I had planned.

I often gasp at how my cousin has 5 under the age of 6. And then I step back and remember that she is a great mother! If anyone can do it, she can.

I think you are the same;)

Big families scare the hell out of me because I de...

2011-12-13T10:46:38.724-05:00

Big families scare the hell out of me because I desperately want to have one but I'm not sure I'm doing too great with the two that I've got. In the end though, I guess God will judge and then decide.

Your family's absolutely beautiful and I wish you all the best with number 6 :)

I think big families are great. So, kudos to you!...

2011-12-13T10:40:32.502-05:00

I think big families are great. So, kudos to you! I only have 3 and I feel like I'm going insane half the time (ok, more than half. haha).

I am an only child and so big families are a littl...

2011-12-13T10:40:05.457-05:00

I am an only child and so big families are a little bit intimidating to me. I'm afraid of not having enough time/money with which to spoil our children if we have more than one. There is also a selfish part of me that worries about not having enough time/money for myself and the things I want to do in this life.

With that being said, I do think I want more children. Being an only child is no fun, especially now that I'm grown and it's just my parents and I instead of a house full of kids and grandkids. I don't think we will ever have a "big" family, however. I draw the line at three children.

My big family didn't happen in the way I envis...

2011-12-13T10:38:06.211-05:00

My big family didn't happen in the way I envisioned it happening, but I love it. I think all the time about what our life would be like if we had stopped at 3, and it makes me kind of sick to my stomach to think of missing the other half of our family...

We have not started having children yet, but we bo...

2011-12-13T10:29:59.583-05:00

We have not started having children yet, but we both like the idea of a big family. I don't know what my health will be like when we start having kids and of course my husband is concerned with making enough money to support a big family, but we're at 6 right now. I want even numbers and 2 is just too little so if I have to settle on 4 I'm okay with that too. I love being around big families because there is so much love there!